Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
