We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
