loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
