I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
