you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
