he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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