is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
