He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
