Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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