Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
