During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
