my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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