i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
