Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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