it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
