you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
