dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
