what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
