When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
