Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
