he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize