She said her name was "party"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
