They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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