Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
