This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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