I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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