Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
