So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
