In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
