he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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