I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
