you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
