We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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