if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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