Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
