i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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