Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
