At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
