Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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