You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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