I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
