Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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