You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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