I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
someone owes me an orgasm
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
