Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
