We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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