Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
