Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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