kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
