I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
