we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
