so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The cops high fived after they tackled you
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
