Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
