I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
they're like a gay fantastic four
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
