actually, I'm a sock model
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
