bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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