Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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