he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
