Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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