just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
