I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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