Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
