yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
