Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
