I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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