I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
